How to Click Less . . and Connect More

These tips are a continuation of my July 2010 article, "How to Click Less to Connect More." For a PDF copy of the full article with these tips, email us. You can find the full newsletter on my Articles & Resources page here.

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Tip #1:

Know whether you’re using your personal technology--or whether it’s using you.

•  If you find yourself “pulled” into work emails and calls during your personal time, your technology is using you.
  • Action: If you use a company issued device for all of your phone and email needs, consider keeping a personal device for personal business. The extra expense pays for itself in lower stress, personal privacy, and better managed time.)
• If a loved one starts complaining that you pay more attention to the technology than to them, it’s using you. They know what they feel.
  • Action: Not sure how they feel? Ask.
•  If you notice an anxiety or jumpy feeling in your body when your technology buzzes or beeps, it’s using you. Your body is smart—trust its signals.
•  If you are texting or manually dialing while you are driving a car, it’s using you.
  • Action: Tell your colleagues you've made a fresh commitment to safety, or that your family has asked you to take Oprah's No-Phone Zone Pledge. Recent research indicates that even a glance at your device while driving makes it 23 times more likely that you will crash. Was that email worth it? 

Tip #2: Experiment with connecting differently.

• Instead of clicking, call. While voicemail is misused too, a brief, upbeat, and clear message can help build a stronger personal connection.
  • Action: Most voicemail systems let you replay what you’ve recorded and listen to it again before officially sending. Try listening to the message you’ve left and record it again to make it shorter and clearer!
• Instead of clicking, walk. Go to someone’s location, even if it takes you a few minutes out of the way. You never know who you’ll run into along the way. The extra steps won't hurt you, either.
  • Action: If you are constantly on conference calls with people in your same location or town, intentionally choose to be with them in their location once in a while. Being physically present and looking at each other face-to-face creates connection,  prevents multi-tasking, generates better ideas, and is just more fun!
• Instead of clicking, write a physical note (not an email.) Physical, hand-written notes carry emotion with them, even when expressing the simplest of things. Notes get saved—and remembered. 
  • Action: Buy an inexpensive supply of notecards at your local drugstore (no need for costly stationery!) and write just one or two lines expressing your thoughts. Don't overthink it--write what you'd say in person.

Tip #3:

Decide when you are “open for business.”

You can't be open for business all the time and still do a great job with your business.

• "Open for business" means your devices on and close-by—you’re “open” to receiving information.
• "Closed for business" means your devices are off, and not nearby. Find a good drawer or the bottom of your briefcase to stash your black box in.
  •  
  • Action:  Decide to be “open” or “closed” to different parties at different times. For example, you could decide to always be “open” to your top client but not to others--they have to wait until you are "open for business" for everyone. 

Your work and time is valuable, and all requests of you, your time, and expertise, are not equal.

Tip #4:

Make your own rules—and share them with others.

We teach others how to treat us. If we’re constantly available and responding--whether or not the request is of high priority and value—we teach them that our time is wide open and less valuable.

• Action: Decide on the rules that match how you want to work and live. Think of these as your "click-free zones." Share those with others you interact with. For example:
  • On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I don't check email after 7 p.m.
  • I do not use my business cell phone on weekends.
  • On Mondays, I don't check email until after our weekly staff meeting.

You can make exceptions, as long as you communicate them. For example: 

•  I don’t check email after 7 p.m. except  during the week we are on deadline with the monthly newsletter.
• I only turn my IPhone on in meetings if I am expecting a client call or we need to find information that will help the meeting. If my IPhone's on for one of these reasons, I'll say so at the start of the meeting; otherwise, it will be off.

After you’ve communicated your rules, act on them consistently. Making too many exceptions teaches people you're not serious--and sends a message that what you say is not worth believing.

We hope you've found these tips useful. For more ideas and hands-on work on this topic, Darcy leads a half-day interactive workshop for organizations and teams on "How to Use Technology and Not Let it Use You." The workshop helps busy professionals create their own rules and boundaries for getting the most out of their electronic tools--without sacrificing the quality of their work or life. For more information, email us or call 404.313.0278. Or, find more information on other workshops and speaking topics here.

Have more ideas on this topic? Comments? Share your thoughts here.